1000 words

Dear blog,

I've actually been writing and deleting this entry for the last 40 minutes or so. The long short of it is it looks like just can't spin thoughts in words quite like i used to 

Maybe going old does that to a person.

So I just turned 39.

And I've never been so unsure of my life as I do now. Probably.

Yeah.

Let's just end this post at that.

Also, music. I love music. Again. So I'm gonna continue this blog's old tradition of naming the titles based on music and sharing the namesake with a youtube video link.

https://youtu.be/5F_n71T19cE?si=TUupdFXPhV4wjttw

The age of dragons

...is upon us once again. Dragon Age: the Veilguard, the 4th entry of the Dragon Age RPG series is FINALLY releasing next week after a whole decade since the last entry. Although I'm not entirely convinced this upcoming entry is going the be banger it desperately needs to be, given how long dormant the series has been, I'm gonna purchase and play it regarldless because the Dragon Age games holds a special place in my heart ever since the first game, Dragon Age: Origins I believe theres is a blog post I made about DA:O so many years ago here. Even after all that time, I still fondly remember the brief time I spent as a Grey Warden rookie with the heroic Duncan, Morrigan's condescending remarks, Alistair's jokes, and of course sweet, sister Leliana (who is also an assassin). Will Veilguard be able to give me the same experience? Probably not. I am afterall a different gamer than I was then. DA:O released in... 2008? My gosh that was nearly 20 years ago. I feel ancient just thinking about it. So yeah. Veilguard. Cant wait! I'll write my thoughts about it when I play it.

Generation / Gap

At 32, I've never felt myself particularly old, but a recent conversation with a couple of 13 year olds clearly showed me that the 20 years difference is a huge gap. 

The three of us were talking about the same thing; video games, which, if one were to look back in this rather ancient blog, is something that has been a significant part of my life. Yet despite the fact, I was, for the most part, on a completely different page than the other two.

It's not just about enjoying different types of games, which we did, but even the way we talk about video games is different. 'Character shipping'; the idea of pairing a character to another character for instance, is all the rage with young gamers these days. I mean, we had fanfiction back in the days but this is something else. It's like glasses: they're glasses in the 80s, 90s and so on but it's not the same style is it. So to is the way how conversations surrounding video games has changed for the younger generation.

Now if I were to talk with someone else about video games, or read about it on websites (one of my favourites being Kotaku) it is something I can easily relate to because the author(s) are roughly around my age. But these are not the sources younger kids go to, I now realised. Their primary source of information is Youtube, from younger, like minded internet celebrities these days called Youtubers.

Ok, so what is the point that I am really trying to drive home here really?

Truth is, I am SCARED. I wonder just how much of a gap there would be between my own children and I in 10 years down the line. Will I even be able to relate with them anymore? Will they think me as an ancient creature who has no idea what they're talking about? 

Probably yes.

And I don't want that to happen. I'll certainly need to try and do something about it. But I wonder if it's all but impossible. Is generation gap a rift that once opened can never hope to be closed again?

Allah, Our Rabb

In this post, I'd like to share a reflection on the following two ayaat from the Quran which sums up the reality of our current ummah very well:

وَلَئِن سَأَلْتَهُم مَّنْ خَلَقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ وَسَخَّرَ الشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ لَيَقُولُنَّ اللَّهُ 

If indeed thou ask them who has created the heavens and the earth and subjected the sun and the moon (to his Law), they will certainly reply, "Allah". (Surah al-Ankaboot, 29: 61)

قُلْ مَن رَّبُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ قُلِ اللَّهُ 

Say: "Who is the Rabb of the heavens and the earth?" Say: "(It is) Allah." (Surah ar-Ra'ad, 13: 61)

In the aya from surah al-Ankaboot, the question asked was 'who is the Creator' and the people have no problems in declaring that Allah is the Creator of everything. In the aya from Surah ar-Ra'ad however, the question asked was 'who is the Rabb' and interestingly, to this question we don't find the people declaring an answer. Instead we find Allah s.w.t commanding his Messenger s.a.w to tell the people that Allah is indeed the Rabb of the heavens and the earth.

To fully appreciate this aya, we must first understand what Rabb means. Rabb essentially means 'One who has absolute ownership, right and authority'. Actually, this is the concept that is at heart of our relationship with Allah and we can see this in surah TaHa, when Allah first introduced Himself to Musa a.s and said:

إِنِّي أَنَا رَبُّكَ فَاخْلَعْ نَعْلَيْكَ إِنَّكَ بِالْوَادِ الْمُقَدَّسِ طُوًى

Veryl it is I, I am your Rabb therefore take off your shoes; you are in the sanctified valley of Tuwa (Surah TaHa, 20: 12)

Meanwhile in surah al-Alaq which is the first revelation to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, he was told: 

اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ

Read! In the name of your Rabb who created. (Surah al-Alaq, 96: 1)

In both instances, Allah is being introduced to a Prophet and the very first thing that these Prophets were told about Allah is that He is the Rabb - He has complete authority. He even goes further to display His authority to the Prophets by giving them each a command in the very same aya in which He is introduced. To Musa a.s He says, "take off your shoes" and Muhammad s.a.w was told, "read!". 

In these ayaat is a summary of our relationship with Allah, our Rabb. He has absolute ownership, right and authority over us. Therefore He has all the rights in the world to tell us what He wants us to do or not do and our responsibility to Him in turn is to obey His commands.

Now that we have established how heavy and important this word is, we should be able to understand the ayaat from surah al-Ankaboot and ar-Ra'ad in a different light. 

وَلَئِن سَأَلْتَهُم مَّنْ خَلَقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ وَسَخَّرَ الشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ لَيَقُولُنَّ اللَّهُ 

If indeed thou ask them who has created the heavens and the earth and subjected the sun and the moon (to his Law), they will certainly reply, "Allah". (Surah al-Ankaboot, 29: 61)

قُلْ مَن رَّبُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ قُلِ اللَّهُ 

Say: "Who is the Rabb of the heavens and the earth?" Say: "(It is) Allah." (Surah ar-Ra'ad, 13: 61)

These  ayaat exposes what is going on in the minds of people who readily admits that Allah is their Creator but are unable to accept that Allah is their Rabb. These are people who have problems accepting Allah as having absolute authority over their life. These are people who claim to be Islam but still refuse to obey certain commands of Allah - be it to pray or fast or pay the zakat or concerning their 'aurah.

Unfortunately, this is the state of a large majority of the Muslims among us today are in. People who know very well that Allah is their creator but are utterly heedless in the fact that above and beyond simply being our Creator, He is also our Rabb. And this is a sad reality that we can clearly see going on around us.

And you know what the really scary thing is? It is that the the first question that one is asked in the grave according to the narration of the Prophet s.a.w is "who is you Rabb". Know that simply acknowledging Allah as the God who created us isn't enough to save us on that day. If we do not accept Allah as our Rabb today, how can we expect ourselves to be able to answer that question when on that day?

Wallahua'lam.

I like to Move it Move it

My PS3 is alive again!! After 2 months in the fixing bay and RM380 worth of cash flying out of my wallet. But well, at least I don't have to buy another one for the THIRD time.

It so happens that after picking the console up we (the wife and I) ran into a Sony Style and.. er... kind of accidentally picked up the Move.

It was by accident.. really.

Anyways, I've never played any of these motion control game thingies before. I don't own a wii and have never even played it so I was really curious..

The Move set that we bought came with Sports Champions and we bought another Move controller just so that we could play it together. After giving it whirl, I think that it works great! I don't exactly think it's a replacement for the classic controller. While I had fun playing ping pong with the Move, I would never want to use that for games like Uncharted.

Overall though, I think it is a recommendable piece of hardware. It's not exactly cheap, but at RM 180 a piece, it's considerably cheaper than the plastic guitar controller (which most of you who own it may have already stashed in you closets) and will likely have support for more games in the future. The There are however some limitations of the hardware that I think you should consider before picking it up.

1. You'll need some space to play this. A pretty large space at that especially if you're going to play a two player game.
2. Your TV better be big. I guess a 32" will do, but for best results, I'd say 40" above since you'll be playing from about anywhere between 2-3 meters the screen.
3. It doesn't work well in a brightly lit room. Your movements with the Move is captured by a camera. When it's too bright, the camera won't be able to recognise the color of the ping pong ball at the tip of the Move controller. Also, playing in a dark, preferably closed private room also works better for you because people won't be able to see you flailing your arm around like a madman.
4. As I've said in the last one, it WILL make others look at you weird.

Other than that, it's all good. It's also a great way to get people who aren't even into gaming interested in trying. My nephews absolutely loved it. I even I got my mum to try it, and she has never touched a game before! So I say, buy it, if not for you then at least for your family.

Psst, Sony, shouldn't you at least be paying me some for this ad? :p

Curses

I am not fond of curses. Swears. Four letter words. Or whatever people want to call it.

Many people however, do not have a problem using it and/or with their usage. These days anyways, it is considered normal to curse. You hear it in the movies, your friends use it when they speak, you read it almost every time you facebook and you get desensitized to it. If that wasn't the worst of it, many even endorse it!

I don't know what's the deal. Maybe cursing boosts your ego. Maybe cursing makes you feel cool. The fact however, is this - A bad word deed is a bad deed. A bad word is a bad word. Take stealing for example. If everyone in the neighbourhood is a thief, that still doesn't the fact that thievery is wrong doesn't it? Likewise, just because it is a norm to curse, that doesn't mean it's right to curse.

Decency doesn't change over time. What was wrong 100 years ago is still wrong today. Rather, it's the people's perception of decency that has changed.

If you are a person who likes to curse and is somehow offended by this post, I ask you this: would you want to hear your kids curse? Please remember that the apple won't fall far from the tree.

Changing the world

Read the news lately? You'll discover 2 stark contrasts. One the one hand, the nation can be seen flourishing infrastructure-wise. New buildings are going to be built, new curriculum for schools, more funds, etc. But on the other hand, the society is plummeting where morality and decency is concerned. Not a single week will go without news of child dumping, underage sex, incest and all kinds of other hideous behaviours.

What is wrong with people?

And while the goverment is supposedly hard at work to curb these issues, is there any hope for change? If the state of the 'advanced nations' that our society seems so bent to be like are any indication, then it's only logical to assume that things are only going to get worse from here on. Afterall, what our nation is currently trying to implement to curb societal problems is only what those countries have already applied and what good did that do to those countries?

I used to think that there was no saving the society. That there was no way to change the world.

History proved me wrong. There was one society which had very bad societal problems. Theirs were a society of drunkards, adulterers, and murderers who would bury their daughters alive out of shame - not too different to what our society is becoming. Who would have thought that in 23 years, they had a complete change in every aspect of life and even went so far as to become a powerful civilisation.

They were the Arabs, whose lives were changed by the Message of the Quran sent by the Messenger of Allah. They flourished when they abided by the Book, and they declined as their people started to turn away from the Book.

In it is a lesson for us - we can't put the responsibility to improve our society solely on the government, or any single body. If we want to change the world, then the change has to start from within us. And we may think that we need to spend millions and millions to treat the disease that is plaguing our society, but the cure is actually free. Turn to the Quran, and let the Message of Allah change us.

Money money money

I see the world around me revolving around money.

I see people who work with every ounce of energy in their body to earn money.

But I also see civilians mugged everyday for money.

I see people killed for money.

I see people kill for money!

I see people think we could gain everything with money.

It's all to funny.

Because you cannot buy peace for any amount of money.

Indeed true are the words of Allah:

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

You Are Obsessed by greed for more and more. Until you go down to your graves. Nay, in time you will come to understand! And once again: Nay, in time you will come to understand! Nay if you could but understand [it] with an understanding [born] of certainty. You would indeed, most surely, behold the blazing fire [of hell]. In the end, you will indeed, most surely, behold it with the eye of certainty: and on that Day you will most surely be called to account for [what you did with] the boon of life.

Surah At-Takathur (Rivalry in world increase)

The Examination

Examinations.

For what purpose do these exams serve? If I recall correctly from one of the courses of which it's name I could no longer remember, the reasons are:

1. To measure how much a person has learnt / gained

2. To discern the good students from the not so good ones.

One who does well in exams also tend to get more privileges than those who didn't, like higher chances to study in better institutions, which at the end of the day usually lands them with better jobs, better pay, a better life in general.

Naturally, every person who could think straight would want to do well in their respective exams, but not everyone will. Some will merely pass and some will fail. However, everyone has the potential to do well if they work hard enough for it.

And in our excitement for all our exams to satisfy ourselves with better lives, with all the pleasures in the world, many forget of THE exam that we are undertaking our whole lives. Think about it - is our life not analogous to an exam? Everyone has the potential to do well and claim the eternal rewards that He has promised. But not everyone will. Some will merely pass and some will fail.

So ask ourselves, do we want to do well in this exam? Or will we be satisfied with a mere pass? Will we even pass?

So, what are we going to do about it?

Najibu's thoughts on Alan Wake

Despite a menagerie of things I had to do during the school break, I managed to finish at least one game out of the few new games I bought. That game was Alan Wake, a game that I think is one of the most surprisingly good game I've played this year.

The game plays like a mix between Resident Evil and Dead Space. I feel that Alan Wake controls better than the two games I mentioned and the result is a very satisfying shooter. Unfortunately, the game lacks variety to keep things fresh from start to finish thanks to a very limited type of weapons and enemies available in the game. The game could also use some more different settings as the bulk of the action will take place in the dark foggy forrest.

I find myself liking the game more for it's story more rather than the gameplay. The story is a well thought out one, but it's the superb story telling that really holds the game together. I especially liked the way how the game is broken into several episodes, similar to those mini series frequently aired on HBO. Each episode ends with a masterfully done cliffhanger that I find myself wanting to play more just to know what is going to happen next in the story. Each episode also begins with a quick recap of the previous episode. Honestly, I find it hardly necessary, but it's really cool so I'll give them points for that.

The game looks as good as any good 360 game but the lighting and shadow effects makes the game seem prettier than it actually is. My other complaint is the bad lip synching during the cutscenes. While not terrible, it's not up to the standard of recent games.

Alan Wake is a pretty short game - I finished it in under 10 hours, so that might keep some people off this game. My suggestion is either wait for the price to drop or borrow it from a friend. Heck, steal it if you have to (If you got caught, I won't be held responsible). The point is, despite its inherent flaws it is a game that should be played, if only to see how developer Remedy has taken story telling in video games to the next level.

For an in-depth review of Alan Wake, kindly watch this video review by GiantBomb's Brad Shoemaker.

Video games, time, and me

So Final Fantasy XIII came out today. For someone who absolutely loves video games, and also someone who had played the series from VII all the way to XII (minus the MMO XI), it's baffling, to even myself, that I'm not all that interested of the new game.

What could this mean? That I'm losing interests in video game?

No, if anything, I've been a much more avid gamer these days that I was when I was in my early teens.

The fact of the matter is, that time's a changing. Video games, along with the industry has gone a long way since the last decade. And so have I.

When I was 12, watching a game which had super slick full motion video (for its time) was the best thing ever. Me, now turning 25, doesn't want that in a game no more. I want to be able to actively take part in my video game journeys. And so I turn to games like Dragon Age and Mass Effect, games of which are currently my definition of top-tier RPG.

I'm not, in any sense of the word, belittling Final Fantasy XIII here. I'm sure there are some pockets of people out there who are screaming in glee as they get to play the game they've been waiting years for, and it's probably for a good reason. I can't think that a Final Fantasy could possibly be a bad game.

But at this point in time, it's probably not the game for me anymore.

I want

You know what, It'd be really cool if I could...

1. play the guitar
2. play more games
3. play more games on a big HDTV with a good internet connection
   
4. be a video game reviewer
5. continue studying Japanese
6. learn Mandarin/Cantonese
   

Random things at the top of my head.. but yeah, I want to do a lot of different things (though most of them usually involve video games in some form or another).

But then, life isn't always meant to be about what we 'want' to do. It's more about what we 'have' to do.

and right now, I have to do what I have to do.

Where there's a will...

About a decade and a half ago, there were a couple of medical students who were avid video game players. We all know what video games does to studies.... nothing. So they both graduated and received the title of Doctors. Not long after, they decided to drop their stethoscopes in favor of joysticks. I wonder, at that point in time, do these two doctors even thought that a decade later, their co-operated video game development company would become one of the world's most prestigious. As of today, their company has churned title like Baldur's Gate, Knights of the Old Republic, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect and Dragon Age, among others which millions upon millions of happy gamers have played the world over. And of course, that translates into millions and millions of cash into their pockets. How else could they have their own private jet otherwise.

While it is true that not everyone just everyone could pull this off like Dr. Ray Muzyka and Dr. Greg Zeschuk of Bioware did, they do show that putting your effort where your passion is can be something to be considered. The future is a fog that non of us can see through. You'll never know whether your path will soar you to the stars. Or maybe even fall down to the lowest depths. But this I know is also true - there is always a different path to choose

Video Games, Sport?

"Is video game not a sport?"

Somehow or another, that was the question that had been in my mind since I got back from a game of badminton yesterday. And thus, began my quest for the truth.

The by the book definition of sports is "games and other competitive activities which need physical effort and skill". Obviously, the words in bold are its defining characteristics according to the dictionary. So let's cross reference those elements with video games and see if they match up.

Competitive: Games, as of late has been getting more competitive than ever. Gears of War and Modern Warfare are the best examples. Nowadays, it is even a standard for MMOs to include competitive Player vs Player matches. Checked!

Physical effort: This

picture taken from http://professionalprocrastinators.com/

That's probably taking it a little too far though, so I'm going to call it a no.

Skill: There's definitely an element of skill involved in video games. This is especially true in fighting games. That's why some players are better than others. Checked!

That's two for three, but the bit that it doesn't involve much physical effort is a really big factor. Of course, this wouldn't be a credible argument with just one source. The following is the the first paragraph of the Sports entry in Wikipedia (though, not that Wikipedia is the most credible source either).

Sport is an activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively. Sports commonly refer to activities where the physical capabilities of the competitor are the sole or primary determinant of the outcome (winning or losing), but the term is also used to include activities such as mind sports (a common name for some card games and board games with little to no element of chance) and motor sports where mental acuity or equipment quality are major factors. Sport is commonly defined as an organized, competitive and skillful physical activity requiring commitment and fair play. Some view sports as differing from games based on the fact that there are usually higher levels of organization and profit (not always monetary) involved in sports. Accurate records are kept and updated for most sports at the highest levels, while failures and accomplishments are widely announced in sport news.

Mental acuity, equipment quality, commitment, fair play, and an accurate tracking of records. Every one of these things are present in video games. And from that lengthy description, the part that strikes me the most is that card games and board games are considered as sports as well.

Frickin' board games!!

Given these facts, how can video games not be considered as sports.

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

A piece of the future...

So we moved to new place a few days ago.

Didn't care much about the old place. It was small, cramped, and not to mention is an over-sized microwave oven!

But...

It was also the first place I lived with my beloved wife. Our first 4 month of being husband and wife was spent there.

You know, when I was smaller, my parents would show me pictures and tell stories about houses they had lived in, the places they've been, people they've met..

And it occurred to me today, that maybe some day, maybe in 15 years or so, I would be showing pictures like these to my children, telling them stories of their parents' past

"Lookie here, mom and dad once lived in a really small house"

or

"This beach was right in front of our house when we were younger!"

We are all always carrying a piece of the future with us. Everything that happens in the past and the present are things that, if we were to live long enough, will be woven into a tale for us to tell in the future.

p/s: going snorkeling again tomorrow. Huzzah!! =D

Pre-marriage course nightmare

What is the best way to ruin the last 2 days of a great holiday? For me, it's attending a pre-marriage course. Today is the first of 2 days which I'm supposed to attend in order to get a cert which will allow me to LEGALLY get married and the experience thus far has been less tha favourable. Honestly, it's so terrible that it made KISSM felt awesome. Heck, I could spend a whole day playing video games and it would still be a more productive day than today.

There was only 1 out of a total of 5 sessions today that I find interesting which was about 'akidah' (deals with faith and religion) and that was probably only because I am deeply fascinated by religion. The other 4 were a total snore-fest where just trying to keep my eyelids open was an epic struggle.

It doesn't help much that I really detest most of the speakers for the day. From what I can tell, it was like the majority of them had only a couple of points to deliver and they expanded on ONLY that for a period of over and hour. Also, they others around me seemed to enjoy the fairly frequent pervy remarks thrown at us. Personally, I think that its just disgusting. Way to destroy your credibility old man!

All this made me question the necessity of the course. I paid RM80 for it and the thing that I took most of it was having a shut eye in the hall. Instead of this crap, they should just make a pre-marriage test, and only enlist those who fail the test in the pre-marriage course. That way, people like me won't have to waste 2 precious days of my terrific holiday for such a terrible , time-waster of a course.



*note : I'm speaking of my experience with the course handled in Kuantan, this does not necessarily represent the courses in other parts of the country.

Black or White

On a sheet a white paper, a single black spot sticks out even more than a sore thumb. Anybody who looks at that paper is bound to notice it. That's because black and white are polar opposites - the ying and the yang. It's only natural that they don't get along well. A world where black and white are brought together is a harsh one - it is a battlefield! Think reversi, the battle which pits black against white on a single board, with the winning colour devouring the losing one. White can never be black no matter how hard it tries to and the same goes vice versa. Instead, they can only replace one another. White is white, black is black and two opposites can never merge. The only way for black and white to coexist harmoniously by having them both give up their original identity and turn grey.






*Title taken from Michael Jackson's Black or White. Thinking about that song now makes me feel old...

Alhamdulillah

Truth be told, I'm not perfectly happy with my current life. My (current-gen) consoles are broken, none of my good friends are around me, my favourite cat isn't with with me and worst of all, my most beloved person is far away from me. I can't even call her anytime I want. And working life...well, lets just say is nowhere near as fun and easy as my days as a student. The list of cons goes on and on.

But hey, look at the bright side. Reports indicate that as of January, more than 10 000 workers got laid off because of the economic downturn. I've friends who are local/overseas graduates who are desperately looking for a job to pay their loan whereas I've already secured a job well over 5 years ago with not single cent to pay nobody. I can't ask for anything better than that now can I. Sure, it isn't perfect but the pros outweighs the cons by a large margin. God has definitely given what is best for me, Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah performed by Too Phat and Yassin. Alhamdulillah literally translates as 'praises be to God (Allah)', or something like 'Praise the Lord'. I'm not a big fan of hip-hop/rap music, but Alhamdulillah won me over. Great song.

My Happy Ending

A little note, if you haven't already read Nas' post, then I suggest you give it a quick read to make sense of what I'm going to write here...

Done? Good!

His writing got me thinking quite a bit, because what he wrote is kind of true; in real life, there's no such thing as a truly happy ending, is there?

This reminded me of Enchanted (which I just watched recently) and how I so totally despised it. Why? Because in the end, the girl fell in love with another guy and left the man she was supposed to marry. "That isn't supposed to happen",I thought. It's against my ethos, thus the reason why I find it unacceptable. (forgive my simple-mindedness, thats just the way I am)

So on the basis of that, I figure that my thinking is somewhat poisoned by the 'happy ending' concept I've watched in so many Disney cartoons as a child. Am I wrong to think that way? Probably. But I don't see it that way nor do I care if people say it is, because I do believe that happy endings can happen.

Notice I used the word can and not will. (the linguist in me is kicking in..ahah)

For me, happy endings are't something that's laid out nicely in front of you with red carpets along the way and you can just walk over to it. It's something that you have to work for to achieve. And even if things were to turn sour at some point, your attitude can make a differance. It ultimately falls down to YOU to turn things right.

For what it's worth, this seemingly child-like thinking of mine is one of the things that had kept my relationship with my one and only girlfriend ever/now-fiance/soon-to-be-wife going for as long as it has. Its not like we never get into arguments; we do. But we managed to make it through all of those because we tried to, instead of running away from the problem (and eventually break up).

I intend to keep our relationship going strong till the very end and I'm going to make sure it does.

P/S : It sure won't hurt to have great partner too =) Thanks for being with me for all this time Soya. You're the best! Love you~

On second thoughts, I don't actually need to write all this... but since it's already written, probably I should just hit the publish button. Oh well...here goes...

[Edit: I was reading and found a verse in the Quran about happy ending. What great timing! It goes...]

Dan perintahkanlah keluargamu serta umatmu mengerjakan sembahyang dan hendaklah engkau tekun bersabar menunaikannya. Kami tidak meminta rezeki kepadamu, (bahkan) Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepadamu dan (ingatlah) kesudahan yang baik adalah bagi orang-orang yang bertakwa.

or in English..

And enjoin upon thy people worship, and be constant therein. We ask not of thee a provision: We provided for thee. And the sequel is for righteousness.

Surah Ta-Ha, ayat 132

So that there is the truest happy ending. Case closed!

*My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne. I guess everyone would've known this song by now. Don't actually like it, but not a bad song at all.

This is me

It hasn't even been 1 week into the new year and good things are happening!

We had evening tea and dinner here.

Sat together and looked at old photos of mine.

And I think we've decided on a tentative date for our wedding!

Wait...I'm probably going ahead of myself now, so let's start all over again.

Today, my fiancee made her debut here in my home... with here family of course. Not intentionally, I would say, her posting briefing is tomorrow morning she while she (and her family) is around the vicinity, Mom decided to invite them over.

And that's when stuff started to happen.

When something is happening, my parents always go all out. No, that's probably an understatement; they'd go for 120%. So began the intensive cleaning of the house since they day before. I, of course got my work all lined up. Cleaning the walls, the toilets, vacuuming, throwing away unnecessary stuff, grocery shopping are all part of the list. I can't really complain about anything, but it were me, I'd just leave things the way they were but I'm not really in the position to complain, so I gave the usual 'OK'.

So I did all the job I was assigned to the way I do a job. Being a person who believes in absolute moderation, my parents were...how shall I say... less than pleased by my standards. I am a 75% man (though sometimes by a streak of luck it may raise by 5-10%). I aim for my best, yet I don't strive for perfection, something that my parents always try to talk me out of. But at least I only got a little lecture, which although still kinda hurts, is something I can still bear. Oh well.. the only thing I can do, is say "oh well".

The point being - I hate the whole idea of pretending to be something that you're not to please someone. I'd rather have someone not like me for who I am, than to have them like me for someone I just pretend to be. A lot of people told me what a stupid belief this is, but I don't care. Its my own belief, and nothing you say can make me believe otherwise. It's my life to live, nobody can tell me what to do. This is me...

..but, on second thoughts, maybe I could make exceptions for a few people =)



and you know... I just realized that this post is totally way off from what I'd originally planned to write...oh well

*This is me - Demi Lovato