34

Dedicated to my dearest wife, Izanin Sofya, and our (as of now) three children Waliyya, Yahya, and Dehya.

It's November 14th, 2019. My 34th birthday - the last one for this decade. When I was a child, 2020 seemed like a far future. Now it's just a month from now. So should this space exists in the far flung future when you, my children, are all grown up, and I may even have left this world, I hope you will find this time capsule.

Waliyya, our first born. Your mom and I weren't blessed with children for the first 4 years of our marriage. You had a little bit of speech problem growing up - you started speaking properly quite late. But at 6 now, you're an absolute chatterbox! Sometimes to a point which annoys me - but I love you all the same girl. You'll be attending your first year of school next year. I wonder what kind of girl you'll turn up to be.

Yahya. You're 4 this year. You have your mom's skin tone and eyes. And you love to play video games. Maybe a little too much. But hey, apple doesn't fall far from the tree yeah? Just so you know, I only started playing at 7 or 8 years old so chances are, if you're still playing as of the time you're reading this, you'd probably be a killer player. lol. Oh, you're also the hardest to take care out of your 3 siblings. I hope you'll grow up to be a fine young man.

 Dehya, you're 2 years old this year. Surprisingly, you're the most independent of the bunch, and causing the least amount of trouble and worry. Or maybe it's too soon to say? We'll see.

And least but not least (cliché, I know) my wife of 10 years, and best friend well before that. I know the last couple of years of our marriage has been rocky, but we persevered, you and I, where some others might have not. And we came out stronger from it. You're my source of light and love. I could not imagine what live would be without you by my side (literally and figuratively). Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

A piece of the future...

So we moved to new place a few days ago.

Didn't care much about the old place. It was small, cramped, and not to mention is an over-sized microwave oven!

But...

It was also the first place I lived with my beloved wife. Our first 4 month of being husband and wife was spent there.

You know, when I was smaller, my parents would show me pictures and tell stories about houses they had lived in, the places they've been, people they've met..

And it occurred to me today, that maybe some day, maybe in 15 years or so, I would be showing pictures like these to my children, telling them stories of their parents' past

"Lookie here, mom and dad once lived in a really small house"

or

"This beach was right in front of our house when we were younger!"

We are all always carrying a piece of the future with us. Everything that happens in the past and the present are things that, if we were to live long enough, will be woven into a tale for us to tell in the future.

p/s: going snorkeling again tomorrow. Huzzah!! =D

IAMHORRIBLE

After an eventful day in school, I'm dead sure that this thing I'm doing right now isn't for me. I'm a sad excuse of a teacher... and it makes me hate myself so much. Currently, I'm at 95% set on resigning. Only, not just yet. I'm gonna see this year through to the end. And then, maybe...

The Time We Had

It feels like it was only a few days ago since the holiday started and it has already drawn to a close. It wasn't the longest holiday, but it sure was one of the best I've ever had, ever.

A good friend of mine got married, I got to meet many of my good buddies, and I even watched that stupid excuse of a movie Dragonball. How can it not be the holiday ever?!

And it definitely wouldn't have been half as wonderful had it not been for these very special people

In fact, I doubt it would even turn out this way if it was anyone other than them. I could never thank them enough for the fact that they were willing to go out of their way to pick me up all the way in Kuantan.

No one ever told me we had sightseeing as a secondary objective though. I totally thought we were going to the wedding and head straight home. But even the person who dislikes travelling I am thoroughly enjoyed every moment of that trip, even that night when we got lost, even that prolonged visit to Pasar Payang, even those weird banners and signboarfds we came across, and yes, even that moment Ali G got first ticket for passing at a no passing lane. Serves him right! ... uh, I was just kidding. Jangan marah ye Ali G =p.

Really, there was almost never a dull moment with you guys around. And for that short period of time, it almost seemed that all my work-related problems had just vanished into thin air.

This signboard is just out of this world

I only wished that it could have went on for a little longer (..and while I'm at it, I wish that the holiday won't end). Alas, like every other good things, it had to come to and end. Even so, this memory will be something that I will cherish forever. 本当に、ありがとうございます。




Time We Had, performed by The Mother Hips. Nice, relaxing song which always makes me feel nostalgic when listening to. Recommended listed. Give it a try.

My Happy Ending

A little note, if you haven't already read Nas' post, then I suggest you give it a quick read to make sense of what I'm going to write here...

Done? Good!

His writing got me thinking quite a bit, because what he wrote is kind of true; in real life, there's no such thing as a truly happy ending, is there?

This reminded me of Enchanted (which I just watched recently) and how I so totally despised it. Why? Because in the end, the girl fell in love with another guy and left the man she was supposed to marry. "That isn't supposed to happen",I thought. It's against my ethos, thus the reason why I find it unacceptable. (forgive my simple-mindedness, thats just the way I am)

So on the basis of that, I figure that my thinking is somewhat poisoned by the 'happy ending' concept I've watched in so many Disney cartoons as a child. Am I wrong to think that way? Probably. But I don't see it that way nor do I care if people say it is, because I do believe that happy endings can happen.

Notice I used the word can and not will. (the linguist in me is kicking in..ahah)

For me, happy endings are't something that's laid out nicely in front of you with red carpets along the way and you can just walk over to it. It's something that you have to work for to achieve. And even if things were to turn sour at some point, your attitude can make a differance. It ultimately falls down to YOU to turn things right.

For what it's worth, this seemingly child-like thinking of mine is one of the things that had kept my relationship with my one and only girlfriend ever/now-fiance/soon-to-be-wife going for as long as it has. Its not like we never get into arguments; we do. But we managed to make it through all of those because we tried to, instead of running away from the problem (and eventually break up).

I intend to keep our relationship going strong till the very end and I'm going to make sure it does.

P/S : It sure won't hurt to have great partner too =) Thanks for being with me for all this time Soya. You're the best! Love you~

On second thoughts, I don't actually need to write all this... but since it's already written, probably I should just hit the publish button. Oh well...here goes...

[Edit: I was reading and found a verse in the Quran about happy ending. What great timing! It goes...]

Dan perintahkanlah keluargamu serta umatmu mengerjakan sembahyang dan hendaklah engkau tekun bersabar menunaikannya. Kami tidak meminta rezeki kepadamu, (bahkan) Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepadamu dan (ingatlah) kesudahan yang baik adalah bagi orang-orang yang bertakwa.

or in English..

And enjoin upon thy people worship, and be constant therein. We ask not of thee a provision: We provided for thee. And the sequel is for righteousness.

Surah Ta-Ha, ayat 132

So that there is the truest happy ending. Case closed!

*My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne. I guess everyone would've known this song by now. Don't actually like it, but not a bad song at all.

1430

This is my 2nd post today.. or is it?

Here's something that some people might not know. In the Islamic calendar, a new day is NOT when the sun rises, but when the sun sets and today, is the first day in the Hijriyyah calendar. i.e. its new year's day! Muslims worldwide refer this day as Awal Muharram, the first day of the month Muharram (kinda like January)

The Hijriyyah calendar is lunar-based, and began when the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions moved (Hijrah - thus the term Hijriyyah) from Mecca to Medina, approximately 1430 years ago.

Of course, people don't celebrate Awal Muharram like people celebrate New Year's Day. It is much more significant than a celebration. It is a sign of moving (hijrah) from bad to good, and from good to better. I've been reading a lot of the al-Quran recently and I realized that one of the recurring verse means something like : "God will be with those who seek to improve in their deeds". So in spirit of Awal Muharram, lets keep improving until we reach 'the best'. God will be with us, and He is the best guide that man can ever depend on.

OK, lesson's over.

Now on to the second part : reflections...

Have I moved to become a better person over the last 1 year?

In many ways, yes. I've learnt a lot more about religions, my religion in particular, and about life in general. I believe I have the most faith in my religion this year as compared to the last 22 years (minus the childhood years) and I would largely credit that to me getting into reading the al-Quran, something that I am ashamed to say I had neglected for quite a while. And this time, I tried to understand it more as I read and had learnt a lot as a result. Alhamdulillah, God had shown me the light and given me the chance to redeem myself.

And then there is also that part of me that which I tried to change but, well...did't manage to. I need to try (and pray!) harder

Also, I'm engaged =) So that's definitely a move for the better. I thank God for allowing the process to be carried out as smoothly as it did for I truly understand now, everything is rightfully and truly His.

I think I can

What with all the postings supposed to be coming soon, I've had many people, close families and former teachers alike, telling me how I have it easy. Everyone goes around saying : "Oh, you can ask your parents to get you posted anywhere you want." True enough, my parents do have some ties to the mob higher ups around here. In fact, they once told me they'd do something about my posting so that I'll get somewhere nearer to home (and far from Borneo).

I spent some time thinking about it.

Yes, I can..but then, should I? I understand that this is something that many people do these days be it for getting their postings, or even to win a tender for a certain project. The scale might be different, but the two of them are actually the same thing. And it occurred to me, if I were to say 'yes', I would be unjust to every other people out there who don't have that certain link people refer to as 'cable'. Especially so to my friends from my institution.

Whether big or small, stuff like this is a form of corruption, i.e. using the advantages you have or your own selfish gains. Many people do this, and I can't really blame them either. It's basic human nature to want to save your own skin. And it made me realize the purpose of all the do's and don'ts we have in religion :

to suppress those negative human nature so we can be better individuals.

And my religion (and probably every other) forbids corruption be it in any shape or form, for obvious reasons, I might add. The lesson; stay true to the teachings of our religion. If everyone does, I'm sure the world will be a much better place for everyone.

The following day, I politely declined their offer. Just because people do it, it doesn't mean its' right. Just because I can, it doesn't mean I should.

I think I can, performed by the legendary Japanese rock band, The Pillows

Livin' on a prayer

"Every living being will taste death"

A cousin of mine, Abang Kamil got caught in a horrible accident which claimed his life late last night, December 10, 08. He was a very good person and his demise will be sorely missed.

Its times like these that you can't help but to feel how fragile a person really is. The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says that the average lifespan for his people is around the age of 60. 60 years... I'm already over the age of 20 so mathematically speaking, I've got another 2/3 of my lifespan to look forward to. But then again, my late cousin passed away when he was barely 50 so one can never be too sure.

One thing is for certain though - we will all, at one point or another, leave this world. And its because we don't know when our time will come, that we must prepare ourselves for the life promised after this life is over. Our actions in our current life dictates the very consequences that awaits us in the next life, and that life is by far more important than this one. A fact, for those who wants to think.

They say time waits for no man. Likewise, death too, doesn't. So live today as if your life would end tomorrow. And remember - the only thing that can help us to a better tomorrow is our prayer today.

Livin' on a prayer - performed by Bon Jovi

I remember you

In a shocking turn of event, yesterday was my birthday. And some kind souls remembered! Your names shall be etched in this here blog for me to remember for as long as this page exists.

(earliest to latest)

Spoken

Makcik Timah
Mak

via text message

Nodi nee
Leny kun
Soya chan
Kudi nee
Ah Seng kun
Manan chan aka Manchan

..and I believe there were some wishes on my newly opened facebook account, though I'm still confused on how to use that site. I think I saw these people sent their wishes

Nasaru kun
Indra san (didn't see that coming)
Alin san
Fatin san
Shim kun

and I think thats about it. Thanks a whole bunch everyone. You're totally the greatest. I'll try to make it up to you some day. Cheerio



I remember you, as performed by YUI

The Red-Coloured Promise

For the first time, things are looking a bit more concrete. What am I talking about? Why, marriage of course. Seems that my parents given me the green light to marry my special lady - provided that I have enough ka-ching to do so. In other words, the marriage probably won't materialize anytime soon. Not at least within a year or so. But hey, I've got their permission so I ain't complaining. Besides, who wants to get married with an empty pocket anyways (except maybe if you're marrying a multi-millionaire!).

On a totally unrelated news. I went to my cousin's wedding recently, and it was ludicrously grand. I can't even hope to have that kind of reception even if I've worked myself to death for the next 7 year (and note spend a penny within those 7 years). Will probably add some pics from the wedding when I manage to get my hands on some.

Holidays is coming to a close...oh well...

[edit : Sept 14, 08] It took a while but here are the pics. Credits to my cousin Peyjal, the cameraman. This is the story of Kak Aelya's wedding with...uh...what was his name now........ I really can't remember. Sorry pal

The bride and groom has entered the building

Me and my cousin Hilmy. I think we were looking at ourselves on the projection screen

The king and queen.... and their fanners (?)

Kak Aelya's parents, Pak Kasim & Mak Andak

Giving their speech. Caterer advertising service included

Nodi and Abang Buyong attentively listening...

And here are some pictures after the ceremony ended

Daya and me wearing what others call TESL uniform. Iqi tried to make and appearance but failed. Too bad son. Try again next time

My cousins. Too bad I myself couldn't make in into the pictures. My, how everyone has grown...

...and thats a wrap. The next wedding report could very well be that of my own =)

*The Red-Coloured Promise (茜色の約束) by いきものがかり

The Tale That You Were In

June 19, 2008. On this day, my friend Sue Fin turned 23. I will always rember this day. Unfortunately, her birthday has little to do with it because on the same day, one of my consoles died on me. June 19, 2008, my PS3 has ceased to operate... yet again. Then again, the ps3 has never failed to dissapoint me. The first game I had on the ps3 (resistance) was mediocre at best. After Resistance, I was only using the PS3 to play PS2 games for over a year as no new games caught my attention (and even if there were, I'd prefer to buy them for the 360 anyways - achievement junkie). Just before the end of last year, it got broken once because of a sudden electrical surge in my apartment. EB Wellington was kind enough to had it sorted for me and I got a replacement from Sony NZ just before I left the windy city.

Power lights on, screen completely blank... its broken alright

That is not where the streak of bad luck ended for the console though. The thing weighs a hefty 7.5kg and there simply wasn't place for something as small yet as heavy as that in my bag. As much as I didn't want to, I had to part ways my PS3 at the airport. I had my ex-housemate Kurt posted to me through NZ Post. To my horror, it costs me 250nzd. Thats roughly around RM600. All seems fine after that, until I came to another shocking realization when I went to pick up the console at the LCCT terminal. I had to pay taxes for shipping the thing into the country! I told the customs officer that it was a sed item so I ended up having to pay RM150, instead of RM500 which I was supposed to pay had it been a new item.

The streak ended when PS3 game drought came to a close, which is when I bought Uncharted, and then Devil May Cry 3. The console finally had its chance of redeeming itself through the presence of Rock Band. After 3 months waiting, the PS3 had another chance to prove itself. Metal Gear Solid 4 was released on June 12. I enjoyed MGS4 immensely. I finished the game in just 2 days and immediately began my second play through. Now, approximately a week after I bought the game. The PS3 has failed me yet again. It powers on but the friggin thing just won't boot. Darn, I was so upset. Hopefully GamersHideout will be willing to accept a PS3 for repairs. Don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon though. I've invested too much money on the PS3 that I don't even have enough to get it fixed. Sigh....

*The Tale That You Were In - 君がいた物語(kimigaitamonogatari) - by See-Saw